After we recorded A Guide to Understanding Anger, I had a niggling sense that there was an important question I'd missed. It was this: why is it that when everything is going well, I start to worry about everything that could go wrong and get a surge of discomfort?
So, Catherine Robson, who helps me pull together all these recordings, and I sat down to explore this question and the phenomenon known in the world of Mindful Self-Compassion as backdraft.
When we begin to show ourselves self-compassion, the pain can often increase at first. Just as when everything is going right, we often worry about the future or get a surge of anger or discomfort.
As Dr Kristen Neff says, “Love reveals everything unlike itself.”
Backdraft is a firefighting term that describes when a door or window is opened or shattered in a burning building – the oxygen rushes in, giving the flames new fuel, and the flames burst out. The same is true when you open the doors to your heart.
Listen to this short audio recording where I speak to Catherine about what backdraft is and why it occurs. You may be familiar with the scenarios and examples we discuss...
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If you enjoyed this recording and want to learn more, take a look at my online shop where you'll find A Guide to Understanding Anger and other audio guides.
Renée van der Vloodt ( M.A. , FHGI ) is a psychotherapist and coach – and has had a private practice for over 20 years, which is now based in Woodchurch (near Ashford), Kent.
Renée is the author of the CD Calm the Chaos of the Creative Mind and works with children and adults as a coach and therapist to help them overcome life's challenges and emotional difficulties including stress, burnout, anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anger or addictive behaviour.